Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Saturday, October 08, 2011

The Next Best Thing

I needed a new phone. OK maybe wanted is more accurate but the fact is my trusty Droid Eris was showing her age. Many of the apps weren't able to be updated, the phone was choking trying to keep up with my contacts lists and the phone was slow- reliable but slow.

So I spent about 2 months looking at phones-Verizon phones that is since that is the network that our family uses (Sorry Sprint). So I was reading the reviews and also spending a number of Saturdays at the local Verizon store comparing phones-asking arcane questions and just in general driving the sales people crazy. I hung out on the forums reading about the joys of owning- or all too often it seems the frustrations of owning- this phone or that phone. And I began reading about upcoming phones. I gave up paying a lot of attention to that when I read one post in a prominent tech blog about a rumored phone for which the blog seemed to have all kinds of technical details. If the phone is rumored, I thought, why the heck are you publishing these specs? What is the point? Well it turns out lots of people seem to enjoy looking for the NEXT BIG THING in phones. That plus probably a bit of subtle information placement and misdirection by manufacturers to build up anticipation seems to drive most of the digital slathering one sees on phone related blogs.

Well one of the Next Big Things was this Motorola phone called the Bionic and since it was coming out on September 8, I decided to wait and look at it when it came out. The other phones being considered were the HTC Thunderbolt, Motorola D3, Droid Incredible 2, Samsung Charge and of course the iPhone 4.  As you can guess I am not  a partisan of one operating system or another. But there are some things I wanted. First (or so I thought) was a physical keyboard. My Eris was lots of fun but typing on the little screen was not quite my idea of fun. I did it because I would rather text than talk any day.  I wanted a decent phone camera. I found with my previous phones that I really get a lot of use out of my cell phone's camera as an adjunct to my SLR or as in today when I went out with my SLR bereft of its SD card.

Cell phones represent engineering compromises and that is true for cell phone purchasers. So here is how the phones seemed to stack up. The iPhone? Real nice; in fact I bought one for my wife and I use Macs at work. But I found the display a bit too small for my taste. Plus and this may seem heresy, the display was a bit stark for my taste. Besides I like Android's flexibility. But it probably had the best camera of the bunch.  The Incredible 2 had a good camera, nice display, and I am used to HTC sense; same goes for the Thunderbolt which also runs on Verizon's fast LTE network and guess who still has an unlimited data plan. Next the D3. I really wanted to like the D3. I had never liked the other Droids with physical keyboards but the D3 has a wonderful keyboard. The D3 does not run on Verizon's fast network but that in itself was not a deal breaker since in Lawrence we don't have LTE let. But where I teach we are just inside the extended LTE range-that means maybe you can get it.  The D3's issue is the camera which renders shots way too blue. I know this is correctable to a degree but the images I saw often looked way too blue to be easily correctable. Now this brings me to the Samsung Charge and the Bionic-the most expensive phones of the lot. The Charge has a wonderfully detailed OLED display with great contrast-big screen the iPhone display on steroids. But-of course there is a but-I did not like the feel of the phone-it felt cheap and plasticy and I did not like the little physical keys at the bottom. Also the display struck me as being over saturated.  So that left the bionic. Expensive as is the Charge-really an unknown. Do I really want to get a phone that is just coming out. Hmmm and  $299 for a phone?

So I put it through its paces as best as I could. No physical keyboard-so I matched it up against the D3 and discovered that I could type faster on the Bionic's screen than I could on the D3's physical keyboard. The D3 was cheaper $199 as opposed to $299 but that camera really bugged me. The Bionic's display is a bit bigger and brighter and it runs on the LTE network so as Verizon extends service this way I will hopefully get some benefit. Plus bigger storage capacity gave the Bionic the edge.  What made me hesitate was the camera-color rendition seemed fine but it was obvious that the auto focus was sluggish and there didn't seem to be a way to turn it off.  But the display is stunning-excellent color fidelity without over saturation- to me a winner. The phone is big but it just felt solid and the screen is really responsive and the UI which is suspiciously like Motorola's stock android skin that must not be named-had lots of fun visuals that made HTC sense seem, well boring, even if the weather widget makes it rain and lightening in my Eris.

When I called the sales person over, I could hear that sigh of relief-no arcane questions-I'll take the Bionic and oh by the way do you have the Otterbox Defender? I am a firm believer in protecting my phones. What about accessories- a media dock or the Webtop adapter for your HD TV? Nope just the Otterbox, oh yes, and a car charger.  By the time I was done though I was almost $400 poorer and had joined the ranks of Early Adapters NOT  my usual position. I am technologically comfortable but normally wait a bit and let every one else have the ulcers of putting up with glitches in new devices. Remember antenna gate?

By the next day it became apparent that people had serious issues with the phone. The first issue was with the diplay-Motorola uses a pentile display which has an extra white pixel that makes the display brighter to the eye without using more power-at least that is my understanding of what this display does. I may enjoy technology and be trained as a scientist but an engineer I am not. I had heard about this controversy and had carefully compared the display to the competition and decided that the display is fine in a side by side comparisons. Not perfect but very nice. There is a sort of diagonal grid work what one commenter on the Android  forums called a half tone effect. Yup I saw it-but to me it was only obvious when I looked for it. Besides, in a perverse sense it actually made the display visually interesting. Last time I checked the world -you know that area outside the computer screen-is a many textured place. But to this day one month after the phone's introduction there are whole threads telling Motorola never to use a pentile display again!

So this is the first cost of being an early adapter. Not that there are issues and bugs- there are. The cost is that people get obsessed with what they see as imperfections in a device that really represents design compromises required to get a working phone.  And well if you don't see what 's wrong with the display you must be a dolt. The next big issue is audio-some users began to report a high pitched whine that at least by some reports was quite loud when the user did certain things with their phone. Nope my phone was and is fine, makes sounds at all the appropriate spots though after a couple of days reading the discussions about this issue I began to get paranoid at every stray sound-maybe my phone has caught the whine because some arcane grounding issue or interference from flying saucers or electric eels. Or maybe my hearing is just bad so I even tested my hearing threshold- just under 13,000 Hertz- above which any sounds get lost in my own rarefied high frequency tinnitus.  Some discussants even insisted that all Bionics had this issue those few of us who claimed not to have this whine were deluded and just not listening. One forum participant polled readers if they did or did not have this whine and 95% said yes and 5% including poor deluded me said no. Now personally I think some phones did and do have a serious audio issue-but I think that that 95% represents a load of self selection. If the problem were really widespread then the issue would be a big one mentioned in the Verizon reviews of this phone. It is not. So either Verizon is pulling negative comments off their site or the audio issues are much less ubiquitous than one might think by reading some forums.

Is the Bionic perfect?  Certainly not. First in my mind is the camera-or to be more precise the user interface Motorola provides. I have less control over the camera settings than I have with my Droid Eris. Now that said, since I am a photographer I know that stock settings are not the way to go and if you must you figure out a way of working around the limitations of your equipment. Besides specialize in macro shots which require lots of patience so I am predisposed to put up with cameras that aren't ideal. So I took the settings I had and experimented. Then bough several third party camera apps from the market and worked the camera with those and showed along with a few other people that the camera is fine (for a small camera) and that with a little work you can get some nice creative shots.  The sensor is small-representing another compromise the engineers had to make. This is not a point and shoot let along a single lens reflex-but since I always have my phone with me I can get some really spontaneous shots-again working the limitations of the camera.

Of course there are software issues. One that had me tearing my hair out was that one of my camera apps was supposed to save pictures to the phone's external SD memory card. And the software indeed saves the photos to a camera folder inside a folder called like mnt/SDcard/dcim/ . Sounds promising right? And it even matches the instructions given by the camera app manufacturer. Well it became clear that the app was saving photos to the phones internal memory. Fortunately it is easy to move files to the external memory but it is an extra step. So I wrote the app developer who merely repeated the instructions in the documentation which I had already tried.  So back to the forums where I found a post discussing the fact that the Bionic calls the external SD card - mnt/SDcard-ext/. Ha ha so back to the software which fortunately allows me to save an alternate storage spot, I found the right file in the external SD card and everything is fine. Apparently Motorola's naming convention relates to the type of memory Android uses-SD memory and so there is SD memory wired into the machine as while as the removable SD card. Problem solved, but of course it doesn't satisfy some people who scream at Motorola that they need to fix this. Maybe they do I don't know. Or maybe app developers need to be aware of these issues because other phone builders seem to adopting different names for internal vs external memory.


Other issues keep cropping up to such as how come my social networks stopped syncing with the phone the other day (solved) or how come I cannot share photos from my gallery directly to my Flickr account (not solved but there is a work around) but I get a little emotional reward when I figure something out or am surprised over some image that reminds me that its not really what our technology can do which is important but what we do with our technology. I suppose it is just a phone-but it is really more than that that. After all a recent article (http://articles.cnn.com/2011-05-19/tech/apple.religion_1_apple-store-apple-employees-brains?_s=PM:TECH)  suggests that Apple products can incite almost a religious experience.


Agave Now I am NOT suggesting that our technology can replace religion but these new phones are very physical-think about  touch screens and the feeling of pinching in and pinching out to contract or expand an image. Typing directly on the screen or doodling with our fingers on the screen gives a physicality to using these devices that was missing before with keyboards and even mice. These devices (phone is so 20th century) be they iPhones or iPADS or Bionics or the NEXT BEST THING allow us to do so much so easily that for some of us it is easy to get overly caught up in debates about the merits of our respective phones or magnify what really are relatively minor flaws that hopefully will be fixed in the next update. I like to see these devices as tools for good but it seems that there is a danger that they will trap us into a desire for technological perfection where we forget that these devices are tools represent different sorts of compromises and thus keep searching for that NEXT BEST THING.





Oh and my old Droid Eris? She sits by my computer in case she is needed as a phone or an extra Wi-Fi device. Call me anthropomorphic but the Eris is still useful like a hand tool superseded by a newer electric tool only this is the 21 first century where the pace of obsolescence is such that today's NEXT BEST THING becomes just another old thing to be thrown away. 


Saturday, June 19, 2010

Dead Fish Monthly

This is a fake magazine cover...I think but it was posted to a real Flickr group called Dead Fish which features pictures of, well, dead fish.

I actually like the flickr group. Fish skeletons are quite attractive as one of my colleagues can attest. In fact she turned me on to Flickr's Dead Fish group when I was looking for a place to post this picture of a dead fish.

milkfish

Friday, October 30, 2009

Lunatic articles travel in packs

Here are two articles that could have been in the Onion but are meant to be serious.

First we have "The Danger of Celebrating Halloween".
http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/prophetic-insight/23723-the-danger-of-celebrating-halloween

This was posted on the CBN web site but was removed so I guess it was even too loony for Pat Robertson. My favorite part?

"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

Next we have this wonderful gem and title pretty much sums the article up:

"The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals"

http://christwire.org/2009/10/the-golden-girls-how-one-tv-show-turned-a-generation-of-american-boys-into-homosexuals/

My favorite part of this article:

"The 1980s was an epoch of President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War annihilation. America had sobered up from the flashy lights of 1970s disco. We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers. Spiritual leaders like Jerry Falwell were telling us that Christianity was in the majority again. On the other side, there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths. It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities."

For the record I was not a fan and am not a fan of Golden Girls.

Tip of the Antennae to an anonymous blogger friend with whiskers for calling my attention to the first article.

File these under humor(I think).

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Welcome to the Holidays in My World

My wife would not let me put my dinosaurs in her Christmas village. But she didn't say anything about large predatory insects.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Oh No! Karl Rove and I Agree????

Well at least on that Obama is heading for a landslide. We both came up with the prediction for the electoral college and which states each candidate is going to win.

338 Obama and 200 McCain.

See this report from CNN about Rove:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/11/04/rove-predicts-obama-landslide/

Of course we both used the same highly sophisticated stochastic jack knife enriched estimating procedures on huge arrays of linked Apple iPods to arrive at our projections.


Rove would probably also agree with me here when I say:

"Vote! Vote early and often..unless your voting for the other guy. Then only vote once.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Funny things people search for...

A recent visitor to this blog, stumbled here looking for "poster assignment to teach asexual reproduction". Personally I have no desire to learn how to reproduce asexually. But hey that's just me. As for the searcher he or she got this link:

http://theforcethat.blogspot.com/2006/08/poetry-thursday_30.html

I don't think that is what he or she wanted-but maybe.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

It's really hard...

It's really hard
to take a picture of a praying mantis with a cell phone...










when the insect...










is trying to grab your phone.

Friday, August 22, 2008

A Strip Tease Act?

With all the hype about Obama's possible VP choice, some commentators are going a bit overboard. Consider this quote from Fred Barbash's Politico column on Yahoo:

"A weeks-long strip tease, ending with a naked Joe Biden or Evan Bayh—or some other safe but unsexy choice—might prove deflating."

um yes, deflating indeed.

P.S. and yes I am signed up to get the text message. Now do I keep my cell phone on all night so I can get the message even at 3AM? Do I risk...deflation?

Update! a local TV station is claiming to have seen Obama Bayh bumper stickers and is reporting this on on their news. http://www.kmbc.com/politics/17267009/detail.html#-

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sunday, August 03, 2008

A motivational poster of Richard Dawkins

A Flickr and Second Life contact recently put together this wonderful poster for Richard Dawkins. Me thinks Dawkins would love it!

Sex ed problem to be solved in Kansas!

It's easy according to Alan Detrich who is running for a spot on the State Board of Education:

"When you teach children that they are apes, they will reproduce like apes," he wrote in a questionnaire. "Stop teaching evolution, and the sex ed issue will take care of itself."

Right...

link:

http://cjonline.com/stories/073108/sta_311695380.shtml

Now do I file this under humor?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Election time again!

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Vote Republican!

Not convinced? Well, just check this video out.



More information can be found at:
http://www.imvotingrepublican.com/

Thursday, March 13, 2008

A Delicate Plant

bryophyllum2

I get periodic alerts from our local garden store when new succulents arrive and among the recent arrivals was this really cool little plant. The label said Kalanchoe and I almost passed the plant by because I don't have good luck with this genus. I like growing plants but it just seems that some common things just elude me even though people with cast iron thumbs instead of green thumbs can get them to grow in groves. Aloe vera is another such plant.


Either I forget to neglect them or the cat knocks the pot over or a sudden tornado flings the pot against the house and the plant gets sucked into a vortex and deposited in Missouri somewhere..stuff like that. Why just yesterday I lost a Cyclamen to our dumb as a post Siamese cat, Carl who decided to knock the pot on the floor, a cyclamen that belongs to my wife's boss and was loaned to me to nurse back to health. It was doing great too. Maybe I can salvage it.

Oh back to my new plant. A little search on the web on my cell phone while at the garden store suggested that this plant belongs to a section within the genus Kalanchoe called Bryophyllum from Madagascar that includes one of those nifty plants called mother of thousands that grows new plants asexually along the leaf margins. My plant based on matching pictures-I know dangerous to do this- appears to be K. Bryophyllum porphyrocalyx.

According to this site this plant grows about 35cm tall and is a common ornamental and hanging plant. Still I think a handsome looking plant compared to those garish Kalanchoes one sees so often in the stores. Besides even common plants hold surprises if you know where to look or just happen to stumble upon them.


Tonight I decided to take a few more quick macros of the plant which is now producing pollen. Take a look at this funky green pollen. I don't think I have seen guacamole colored pollen before, but here it is.

bryophyllum

Enjoy!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Now we know...

...the true cause of divorce and all the other problems besetting marriage as an institution.

Of course it's the gays!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Down the Rabbit Hole of Intelligent Design

The intelligent design folks have latched on to the success of documentaries such as Inconvenient Truth and Sicko with their own effort to show how close minded scientists are to new ideas. In the sort of inversion that has become old hat in the ID movement, Ben Stein (YES....that Ben Stein) has a documentary called GetExpelled. The movie's trailer starts out with Stein writing "Do not question Darwinism" over and over again in a biology lecture room's black board. Hmmm I must have given him detention.

The movie's blog and web site imply that Stein is some sort of rebel against the close minded scientific establishment and visitors are encouraged to join the GetExpelled community. Of course, the rest of the trailer attempts to darkly imply that there is some sort of dark conspiracy against intelligent design. Mr. Stein considers it his duty to warn us about this conspiracy.

Slick- just the sort of thing to appeal to some young people who with no sense of history might not get Mr. Stein's inversion of history. For rather than being young turks with new ideas fighting against the evil scientific establishment, the Intelligent Designers are backing an archaic way of viewing the universe which is still entrenched in the popular mind. It is the evolutionists and natural scientists who have the new ideas. Maybe to the ahistorical young evolution seems to be the establishment position, but it is not.

Get Expelled looks like another inversion of reality, an inversion worthy of Lewis Carroll where critical thinking gets demonized and irrationality becomes the way science should work.

Oh and according to Scientific American Ben Stein has won the The Phillip E. Johnson Award for Liberty and Truth. Liberty and Truth? Now there is a real inversion for you.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

God Created in the Laboratory?

OK actually the Flying Spaghetti Monster and it was created in a kitchen. But check this out. I wonder if Pastafarians would consider the construction of noodley likenesses to be OK. Are there noodley iconoclasts ready to riot in the streets of Ithaca NY?

Could this be proof of the omega point getting closer and closer? A foreshadowing of what's to come when the whole universe is created in the eye of the FSM looking backward through time.

All hail the FSM!

Source:http://www.flickr.com/photos/oskay/2177296185/ via techorati

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Abominable Snowman in Lawrence!

Inspired by true events...

Thursday morning I received a call from my wife asking me if I had seen the footprints in the yard. She had noticed them when she was leaving for her job in Topeka.

"Definitely human footprints only the person was barefoot and my boss said that there could be a homeless person living in the woods."



"Kay, that sounds really unlikely to me but this is Lawrence, and we've had other strange things happen such as the escaped cows in our backyard..so I will go look."

So out I went and I did find some prints, but they were not very deep...

"Hey Kay nope not human, I think rabbit"

"But they look like bare feet you can see the toes and everything."

"Nope rabbit"

"Well how do you know? Were you there? After all you can't test anything that happened in the past"

"Kay, I have seen rabbit footprints before and these are rabbit."

"Just because you are trained as a biologist doesn't mean I am wrong...you are just plain dogmatic. They looked human to me. You are being dogmatic."

"This is just based on experience...Kay look at this picture. I wasn't about to freeze my toes off here but notice how much deeper my shoe print is than the the ones like you found."

"I still think they are human. Why do you always have to explain everything away as something ordinary? Just a rabbit...huh maybe they are that hobbit man or a gnome. A baby Sasquatch. There all kinds of strange sightings even in Kansas."

"Kay I am a scientist and we look for the simplest explanations first."

"That is silly, all you scientists think alike. It is some sort of liberal group think. You need to think outside the box. Maybe you should go work for the government."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well everyone knows those government scientists fake data..if you are told to think rabbit then you're going to think rabbit."

"Besides that rabbit idea is just a theory and scientists deal with empirical facts-not interpretations."

Sigh...fortunately at that point my cell phone died.

**any relationship to current public discussions about science is purely coincidental.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

What do you call snail racing?

Obviously NASCARGOT! Check it out.